Some people are content to work five days a week in a job they don’t like and only “live”for the weekends. Then you get those people who rebel against the expectation of society and seek more out of life. I am one of these people. I have never had an average life. I lost my parents at a young age from drugs. I was forced to live with an abusive family, who would taunt me with a daily reminder that I would never be anything in life and would probably end up dead like my parents. All the negative experiences made me stronger and more determined to change my life, it showed me what I didn’t want to be like.
One day I watched people in a food court. I noticed that some families seemed to be on a generational path, I call them “sheep”. I noticed two families, one with parents apparently on welfare explaining to their children that working a minimum wage job was for stupid people when you could get money for nothing. The second, a working class family talking about how their kids grades were important so they wouldn’t be stuck in a nine to five job earning the minimum wage.
These observations were even more interesting on a spiritual level. There was a low, lazy energy of the dole bulging family, not happy and complaining about how low their benefits were. The energy of the working class family also negative and was dominated by blockages. They simply did not believe they could change their lives and felt stuck in a way.
I strive to not end up with an average life. I work hard in a nine to five job, but I know I am destined for more then just living for the weekend, and hoping to climb the corporate ladder. I am one of those people who stop and look around a few times a day and remind my self what I don’t want to end up like.
This is why I have started my small business not only making spiritual candles but also doing readings, cleanings and blogging. I aspire to create something. I plan to have my own cafe/shop/healing centre. My goal is clear, I surround my self with creative people every day putting what I want out to the universe. I appreciate the struggles as well as the profitable times knowing that I am getting stronger and gaining more knowledge to move closer and closer to my goal.
In my last relationship I felt stuck which stifled my progress. Through meditation I asked my guides what I needed to do in order to remove theses blockages. I was shown that I was not only stuck on the business side but also in my relationship. For example, to me objects are only objects and if broken they can always be replaced, but to my partner at the time, objects were the most important things in the world. I felt as though I had become an object for him to own. I noticed he would always be very petty when it came to personal possessions. Not precious family heirlooms or anything important like that, but ordinary everyday possessions. One day a neighbour who borrowed my partner’s fashion magazine. He started to complain how long she had kept it even though he hadn’t looked at it for a year. After a few days she knocked on the door to return it and said she had slightly damaged the front cover trying to get a sticker off. I told her not to worry as it was only a magazine.
When my partner returned he spotted the magazine and placed it away in the never to be read again pile. I told him about the damage and he became instantly enraged. I tried to calm him down reminding him it was only a magazine and not a living thing, but of course this did not help. He then sent her an abusive text message berating her for damaging his precious magazine. After seeing his irrational outburst our relationship was irreversibly damaged.
From past relationships I learnt the hard way not to ignoring my intuition. I would like to point out the closer I am to someone the harder it is for me to read them. One of my spiritual teachers explained it is like that with many psychics. It’s an automatic response not wanting to know anything negative that would harm us emotionally. She also explained that everything happens for a reason and all we can do is move forward.
I noticed my relationship was turning toxic and I was feeling very distant from him. I asked if he would go to couples counselling with me. He sneered and said he was not the one who needed counselling. With the relationship becoming more and more distant I started to be able to read him. Using psychometry I was picking up on certain things like the 2 hour shopping trips he would take. I would pick up on other men, and noticed he would come back with a gift that consisted of highly concentrated guilt energy. I confronted him about my vision and I would not accept his gift. I was physically pushed down on the couch while he told I was being stupid.
Some months prior I noticed he had started to take over parts of my business with my spiritual candles. He advised me he could do it better and I would have no choice. I received strong confirmation from my guides to stick up for my self. I told him he could make one batch only, but one turned in to many more. He then went behind my back and placed an order of different scents like candy floss. I advised him that I had put in the hard yards carefully selecting the scents after hours of research as they are spiritual candles. He told me that there could be a seperate range and that I was being selfish.
Not happy with how thing where going and getting constant reminders from my guides that this was the reason for my blockages, I threatened to leave him. I explained we were so far apart I could read him like a book which he did not like. He taunted me with the fact I was an orphan and told I would be living under a bridge with my cat because I had no one. This was followed by mental and physical abuse until I decided to seek professional help. My psychologist advised me to take back some control in the relationship and to get my bank card back from him. When I asked for my card back he accused me of being financially irresponsibly and I couldn’t be trusted to handle my own finances.
After many days of meditation and advice from close friends I made the decision to give him one last chance for all the years I’d put in to the relationship. When he came home he noticed two coffee cups in the sink and asked who had been over. He, for reasons unknown, was not my best friends biggest fan and jumped to the conclusion she had been over trying to make me hate him. He then gave me the ultimatum, it was him or her. After sticking up for my friend I asked him for my card back and was told yet again, no. I decided to end the relationship there and then after months of trying to make it work, I could see it just wasn’t going to. I wasn’t allowed to take any of my candle stock as he wanted to continue with candle making. I just wanted to leave. The energy in the apartment was disgusting. I Let him keep everything we had accumulated over 4 years and only took the few things that belonged to me. The other objects were not as important as my health. I did however have to leave my cat with her sister. She was already suffering from anxiety and I didn’t think she could cope with any more. He agreed to keep her.
Now I am heading in the right direction. Focussing on what I want and making it happen even faster. Making my candles even more powerful, collaborating with other artists. I was welcomed with open arms to stay in a safe place until I find my feet. My lessons learned were never loose focus, never let anyone else handle your finances, don’t regret or forget and never let any one make you feel any less of a person.
My Blog will continue as I have many more experiences to share.
X So Mote It Be X